In fact she is so keen for you to notice that she has gone to the effort of slapping together something resembling a song devoted to the promotion of said engorged hind-quarters so that you may notice them and… I don’t know, jump at them or something? She is particularly keen for you to notice this sizeable rear of hers. The lyrics: Here’s the lyrical depth of this song, the crux of it all: Nicki Minaj exists, does a bunch of crazy stuff in her spare time, and has a large butt. Yes, I keep referring back to that song but, in fairness, so does she. “Anaconda” is more concerned with annoying you than entertaining you because, by being as terrible and abrasive as possible, at least you remember the song… and yet, somehow, it doesn’t even care enough to succeed at that deplorable enterprise: it’s so boring and tuneless, all I remember are the parts she swiped from “Baby Got Back”. Even though that was intended as a joke, “Anaconda” makes me wonder if there really is some conspiracy out there to replace catchy, interesting hooks with mantras and beats that hammer into your brain again and again until you’re so peeved off you’re almost forced to remember them. One last point to make in this section: on his YouTube show, This Song Sucks, Luke Giordano recently made an interesting observation about modern pop music – that being irritating has now replaced being catchy after the former kidnapped the latter, murdered it and started wearing its skin as a disguise. It’s just so lazy, stupid and ugly, all of it – and no, White Knights, I’m not referring to Minaj herself (although I don’t find her attractive or sexy in the slightest either. Here it’s just like, “yeah, butts butts, whatever, wheee”. At least on her other songs it was aggressively annoying, so you could at least appreciate that she was trying to rub you the wrong way. Now, I’m not a rap expert by any means, but her flow is horrendous on this track. Only sarcasm is lazier, I think, but at least sarcasm has some bite to it every now and then.Īlso, because there’s no melody here to write about, I have to comment on Minaj’s flow instead. It’s akin to reference humour, essentially – and reference humour is about as lazy as comedy gets these days. It’s just there to draw comparisons because hey, that song was about big butts, and so is this one. Minaj (or her songwriters, at least) rips the beat and does absolutely nothing new or interesting. But here’s the thing: if I wanted to listen to “Baby Got Back”, I’d just go listen to that song. Now, confession time here: I actually don’t mind “Baby Got Back.” It’s fun, in its own strange little way, and just dorky enough to bat off any serious accusations of sexism. Sure, there’s a few skips and jumps, but it’s essentially “Baby Got Back” with some different rapping, so now there’s no need for you to click that video up there and add to its view count that contributes to its chart placing thereby making sure we don’t get any more of this d’yer understand okay bye bye. The music: The beat is taken directly from Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back”, and I feel confident in saying that if you’ve heard that song and any of Minaj’s other songs, then you know exactly what “Anaconda” sounds like. Instead, let’s just quietly discuss why it sucks and move on. So getting genuinely angry about this piece of nothing is probably not worth anybody’s time. Minaj’s career basically thrives on two things these days: shoving Beats products into her videos and attention-seeking. Don’t get me wrong, I still hated it, but in a passive, “this isn’t worth getting worked up about” sort of way that came as a pleasant-ish surprise. Here’s another pop song review, guys, and this week it’s Nicki Minaj’s latest, “Anaconda”.įirst impressions: You know, given this song’s press and Minaj’s history of making truly repugnant music, I thought I’d hate it more than I did.
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